Clinging to the past, a Complete Error-Counselor Adofoli

Clinging to the past, a Complete Error-Counselor Adofoli

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Often when we fall in love, we feel its going to last forever but unfortunately like Cinderella we soon realize our pumpkin was either too small or too big so we wake up from the dream too soon and then comes the issue of breakup.

Every relationship is unique and sparks in its on time but no matter the duration in which it lasted, every breakup hurts. The past can be extremely dangerous, dredging up old memories of a one time future that you once dreamt off. After some time, you decide to move on and begin anew but then you get torn between clinging to the past and wanting some amount of closure. Many former couples, whether partners or spouses, try to remain friends after a breakup, and some are able to manage this transition successfully.

Meanwhile, some have that there’s no such thing as staying friends with your ex and other’s feel its no big deal, it’s understandable to want to hold onto that relationship in some capacity. So, the question is, how do you deal with the issue of the Ex? Are there any reasons to stay friends?gloria-kafui-2

Here, are three reasons why you cannot distance yourself from your ex!

  • When there’s a child involved
  • You still love them
  • You have the same friends
  • They still love you

However, a student of GIJ, Wise Nana Osei strongly argues that, friendship with an ex is not necessarily evil because you don’t know where you’ll meet them one day and for all you they might help you out of a financial, emotional or physical crisis.

Another student, Emefa Dziwormu says, it doesn’t speak well of the individual. It shows you are lonely and in need of some company. It clouds your judgment and prevents you from experiencing the best part of your relationship.

Speaking to Sunshyne on Radio GIJ “what’s love got to do with it”, the Chief Executive Officer of Share your worry, Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli says it a “complete error”.

He further explained that, it is not healthy to maintain contact with your ex. First, it makes you look vulnerable and you ex realizes that you are still hovering over the past and want a possible come back. Second, it is making your new partner insecure, untrusting, confused and even jealous.

He finally advised individuals who may be torn between staying friends with their ex to learn how to set boundaries and if possible avoid any contact with the ex and focus your time and energy on the new relationship.

 

 

About the author

A level 400 student of the Ghana Institute of Journalism offering a degree in journalism. Interests: making good use of technology, reading books on conflict and unraveling mysteries, sight seeing, team work, video production and photography. Philosophy: Hard work breaks no bone. I'm a Christian.

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