Whenever I think about love, I cast my mind back to my younger years. I was eleven years old when I first witnessed my frist kissing scene in a movie.
My curiosity was heightened at the sight of the two characters with their lips locked in a passionate kiss and embrace. However it was until the age of thirteen that I developed the longing feeling for boys.
Steve was his name. He was in my JHS 2 class. He had been around but I hardly noticed him until my thirteen year old longing and desire hit. Steve was a tall and a bit fair in completion with a set of white teeth to match and he had such an enchanting smile that melted my heart and run down to my knees.
My mind would automatically just switch on to him and I found myself day dreaming about him and having a good time with him. I could think about him the whole day and I felt nervous and shy whenever I saw him in school or he spoke to me. What could this be I asked myself? This was my thirteen year old self who had her first crush.
In most times, I had my solace in the music Westlife "My Love" particulary in the line
"So I say a little prayer and hope my dreams will take me there, where the skies are blue to see you once again my love, where the fields are green to see you once again my love".
I had come to realize that listening to love songs was like a daily ritual to me in consoling me whenever I missed my crush. I could not go a day without listening to them. My brother had an Mp3 player and I always had to do chores for him in other to get to listen to these songs. Sometimes, I took it secretly without his notice and he would later find out and scold me.
My feelings for my first crush didnot not end there as it swiftly changed to another boy in my class who started paying attention to me. I realized that at that time, I wanted boys to notice me and I was proud of my growing chest as that would give me more points. That feelings for him ended up bitterly as I was punished by my father who found a love letter written to me from him. As much as that punishment was painful, that didnot stop me from growing feelings for the opposite sex as I grew up.
For most teenage girls at the age of puberty the Senior Secondary school was a period of trials and tribulation. Not in the religious sense but at a stage where a young girl's biological clock begins to tick at an alarming rate for boys. For me my biological clock seemed to be ticking at an abnormal rate and I found myself sometimes having conflicting feelings for two different people and I could not identify who I "liked" more.
Micheal or Mike as I called him my was first true love. My first so called boyfriend and this was no crush but the real McCoy. And we kissed and this was no ordinary kiss, this kiss was something. I wont go into details here but it is a memory I cherish.
It is theorotically argued that everybody uses music for a particular form of gratification. That kiss connects me to Chris Brown "With You". I could not help but fall in love with the song when I heard it since the lyrics related so much to me. What does the lyrics say?
"I need you boo, I gotta see you boo, and the heart's all over the world tonight, said the heart's all over the world tonight……..".
At this stage of my adult romantic life, society dictates that any romantic companion I make or I find should be lasting and forever. I was now an adult and my lustful biological clock demands a long lasting relationship.Any guy that comes into my life must stay and my relationships are no longer based on sexual needs but on social and economic security.
The meaning of love and been in a relationship has totally assumed a different meaning.This time I am not the girl who didnot pay much attention to the relationship I was involved in. Spending much time together and going out on dates is very important to me and also talking about our relationship and what was important to eachother.
Saying "I love you" is not enough but actions that really potrays the feeling of love. One important fact i noticed when i got to tertiary was that I preffered to keeping my relationship private instead of my high school days when i felt the need to always tell my close friends every detail of the relationship I was in, what was said and what I wanted to do. This time love to me was very important and I was not ready to just end a relationship.
Kwabena Kwabena became a new source of inspiration for me when it came to love songs. One of his classic songs "Me Ne Woaa" which talks about been soo much in love and wanting to be in love with just that "one" person that means the whole world to you is one of my favourites. His passionate songs and lyrics relates so much to me and it soothes my soul.
Growing feelings or affections for the opposite sex is inevitable and every human being would have to face that at a point in their love. Along the line as humans grow, how they understand love and how they would want their love life to be would not be the same as it used to be in their past lives. I still have a lot of years ahead of me and I know my conditions for love would definitely change as I grow older. From my young self to my current self, it has been a great experience and I cannot wait to explore and experience all what life and love has in store for me whether good or bad.
Level 300 (C)
Edited by Kodwo Jonas Anson Boateng